I’m A Survivor (Just)
Five years ago, on this date 4th November 2010, I suffered a subachnoid brain haemorrhage that changed my life drastically. Living with the after effects of a head trauma is a constant battle which leaves me struggling with simple tasks, mentally fighting with emotions and my memory on a constant rollercoaster, but I’m a survivor, determined to overcome living with the “monster” in my head.
Five years ago, bar being hearing impaired and carrying the emotional baggage of past hiccups throughout life’s dramas, I was a pretty ‘normal’ thirty something mother of two, attending University in a bid to kickstart my career. My morning at uni had been a normal busy one, when suddenly, out of the blue, an excruciatingly painful headache hit me, causing me to collapse and be rushed to hospital.
To talk about 4th November 2010 is really hard for me as I know how close I was to death and my heart skips many beats whenever I relive that day. Forgive me for not going deep into details about my time in hospital, I will do one day, but today’s a survival day. It’s a tough survival, challenging and often lonesome as I battle daily with my inner turmoil, but I’m thankful to be here.
Any writer who has suffered writers block will know how frustrating it is to have ideas floating in your head, yet be unable to create a sentence. I go through that almost every day (this piece should’ve been posted this morning). My haemorrhage hasn’t stolen my ambition to be a successful writer, but it kills my drive. It’s a fight I may never win but I’ll never give in either, because ever since I was a little girl my passion was creative writing. In my better hearing days, my career path was wide and varied, with the loss, writing was all I had and I’m determined not to lose it.